Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The Inaugural Review Post

Warning: This Review is Rated R, but not the Blog in review

Since this is the inaugural review post and this is my fucking first time doing, I promise I will be as gentle as a ravenous man trying to fucking deflower virgin. So spread your blogs legs and here we go:

Flux [More Than Meets the Eye]

The tag line sounds like it is being ripped off from a 80s cartoon and I don’t l know why the dislike for nerds, but isn’t that tag line a bit nerdish? I don’t know but maybe I could be wrong.

Fuck yeah, you are damn lucky because I happened to dig red, black and fucking white, so color scheme wise, you have my fucking vote for it. Nothing flashy; just simple; which comes to my fucking conclusion that I hate you because you didn’t make my fucking eyes bleed and I can’t fucking use my favorite line…” MY EYES…….”

Another good thing about your fucking blog is that you don’t have a lot of fucking widgets that fucks up loading time. I simply dislike fucking blogs with shit loads of widgets and also those with comes with noisy virtual pets or 10 fucking thousand auto play song and video playlist that seems to play simultaneously every fucking time you fucking load and they always seem to get you when your fucking speakers are turn on max.

I can’t say very much shit on the design because obviously it is a pre-design template so I would just fucking lay off it. But I wanna say something about the fucking black talk bubble thing. It was a pretty cool at first to look at it, but when I come to the permalink where there are so many fucking red talk bubble and black boxes, I have only one thing to say….” MY EYES….”

You started off pretty slow in post the beginning, but you begin to pick up, but somewhere in the middle I guess you started to get lazy and started posting quiz, tags, lyrics and things like they were rip out from the internet. It got a kinda boring but I cannot help but noticing some great post that you wrote. The ones which you pour out your feelings and thoughts and letting everything out. That is the one that I am looking for man. What fucking makes great posts are the ones with your:

Your thoughts: Taken from the post Thursday

today is thursday, quite a boring day at school..but anyway, i juz realise melissa is alwiz alone nowadays,maybe broke with the boy edi...sumore she's staying in forest green apartment (exactly where i stay)..alwiz alone aso,and like nt happy..well maybe coz kena "touch and go" so many times..i duno”

Hell Yeah, I love the maybe kena “touch and go” line….

Your Honesty:Taken from the post Stupid Mtfking A-holes

“the 3rd place was filled with some local and mainland girls,come guys i kno u kno wat kind a place is that..spend around rm200 bucks there and got cheated for one jug of carlsberg,those local girls are old and matured or we call it MILF,only got 2 young ones from mainland..but still those chicks were like no money no talk,took one cigg box and rm10 and chow to other table..nia sing..got one old lady,not that old la..maybe around 35-40 i guess,keep on groping me..since she grope me,then i grope her la..win win situation wat..not nice la.one word saggy bitch.”

Dude, 35-40 year old and the tits might have same level with her knees and you say win-win situation? By the way, did you know when the lights come on in those places; the ages of these girls will be revealed and they will suddenly turn 10 years older. Meaning they are no longer 35-40 year old and you are actually groping a 45 -50 year old. But fucking yeah, I love your honesty.

Your frustration: Taken from the post Exam

“reli cannot tahan,have to teach them a lesson..giv a punch on the face,got specky guy there,sure his idea report to the police..u better bkful dun come near me A-hole or ill shove ur ass with firecrackers..Fuck all of u!!

You don’t have to apologize for swearing, we are human and we sometimes have our days and what better way to shake it off than to fuck it out. Come on this is your blog and if the reader gets offended, ask them to go fucking fly kite la, your way or the highway and I am looking forward for more vulgarities in your blog.

Before we get too friendly and suck each other off, here are a fucking few suggestion:

Firstly the profile picture, is that some sort of a paper cut out smiley with 3 strains of hair and a very bad cut out peace sign? Frankly man, I don’t feel you on this, at first glance your blog sort of gave me the type of tech-blog feel but the picture just goes against it. I am sorry if I just insulted your boyfriend who burned midnight oil just to do that little gift for you but at least drop the yellow and blue frame, okie?

I don’t know about you guys but I am pretty annoyed with the Clocklink thing found on people’s blog, come on this is a blog, people come in here to read our blog not to look at the time. We have watches which gets the job done.

Next comes the fucking widget, shit man… your widgets are all fucking glued together. I bet you if you were George fucking Washington, you wouldn’t wannna have fucking Mybloglog widget growing outta your forehead right?

The blog-o-meter, if it is necessary to have that many, maybe you can arrange in a fucking more appealing way.

lastly, Stop cam-whoring with only your Sarong okie? You are scaring people away.

Overall, if I was to make love to this blog and I have pack of six condoms. I would blow my load into 4 condoms out of the 6

your blog is worth 4 condoms

By the power vested in me, this blog shall be inducted into the Blog God’s Recommended Blog List and I pronounce this blog: